"Damned isn't just a word."
Jun. 16th, 2008 06:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nano_mooseHey, hey guys! Things have been kind of crazy, what with colleging it up and trying to sort out a computer-switch. These coupled with the fact that I've caught some sort of hideous cough-plague has had me feeling generally blergh, so I am going to be making some posts about stuff that is awesome to cheer myself up. And eat chocmint biscuits. Om nom nom.
I am going to talk about Night Watch because it is ridiculous, and stylish, and Russian, and kind of half way between being really clever and really not. THUS IT IS YAY.* I mean, seriously, you guys, I can tell it isn't a great movie, really, too loaded down with plots and without quite enough confidence in its style, jumping from shot-to-shot, afraid to linger, but see this? This is me not caring.
It probably helps that I read the book. The plot would not have made any sense at all without that.
-Anton, Anton, Anton. It is not cool that you were willing to resort to black magic to get your girl back, but um, your karmic backlash was severe enough for me to forgive you, I guess, since the next twelve years or so of your life suck beyond the telling of it thanks to this one deed. Also, your incredible dorkitude.
-I like that this movie at least knows how to make fun of itself a bit. Anton turns his torch on Svetlana and screams in horrified shock at the sight of the vortex following her, and there are zoomy shots and jump cuts and swooshy sound effects and then it cuts back to Anton standing on crowded train still screaming with everybody staring at him. Hee hee hee hee.
-No, seriously, if I hadn't read the book I would have had no idea why Anton was drinking blood and sporting fangs, other than the obvious reason (which isn't it). They do sort of explain it (he's tuning himself to the Call so he can track the vampires), but it's pretty blink-and-you'll-miss-it.
-Woman vampire spends the movie wandering around dreamily, with long, dark, tangled hair, bare feet, and a sun dress. She also leans around doors, turns up in unexpected places, curls whimpering in corners, and kicks a tiny bit of ass.
Erm.
I was very weirded out indeed by the time she was threatening to eat Yegor.
-Okay, the fight scene with the vampires and the scissors could have been a lot more awesome if you'd just stayed still for one damn second, Mr. Director. Also played up the tension with Anton trying to glimpse them in the mirror a bit more. On the other hand, you do make him do something kinda badass (whirling around with the scissors still jammed in him and cracking the vampire's teeth) moments before he flails like a dork with a two-by-four. Points for fight-scenes with character!
-The Night Watch truck is so uncool. So uncool.
-Also I love that movie!Anton absolutely has the shit kicked out of him, bleeding all over the place, he can't even stand he's so badly hurt - it's what I like about him, that he isn't invincible, that he does wrong things and regrets them, that he doesn't come out of battles with creatures far stronger than him uninjured. Plus, hey, sneakers.
-The flipbook sequence has no purpose but exposition, but it's really well executed exposition with a neat gimmick, which is all I really ask from exposition, sometimes.
-...Our hero is the kind of guy who makes faces and hooting noises at his new partner, an owl, when he's not sure if she can talk or not. I mean how could I possibly not love this guy?
-And it comes back to bite his ass in the form of the owl turning into a woman at him. Hee.
-Oh, Kostya. You are a very cute vampire and your fashion sense is awesomely terrible, but the fact that everybody pairs you up with Anton activates my "BLAGHDRACO" instincts. I do like you, it's just I'm destined to rail desperately about no one writing about Svetlana because of you. Please forgive me.
-I'm kind of annoyed that the director didn't play up the magical powers of the Others a bit more - they are pretty bloody dangerous, and the stand-off between Dark and Light, equally matched, is far more plausible in the books. He lessened the ambiguity of them having identical powers. But Anton as a 'seer' did help to explain some of the more hallucinatory scenes like the big fight at the end. I think it was Anton seeing both the outcome of his mistake and the 'never-ending war' thing. No matter how many treaties the Others sign or Watches the Dark and Light set up, there'll never be a truce. Just war with lower register. It's what they are.
-Despite my finely-honed mockery instincts, I can't laugh at the final scene - Anton's actor really sold his horror and grief at Yegor's decision. Seriously, check out that expression.
-You know, despite having the prophesied messiah character with exceptional magical power going evil thanks to the bad dude's careful and long-running manipulation and the good dude's awful mistakes, Night Watch isn't actually that much like Star Wars.
-End of book Night Watch:
"Well, Anton, you can't always be a winner. I haven't, and you won't be, either."
"I know that," I said. "Of course I know it, Gesar. But still, it would be nice."'
End of movie Night Watch:
Plot: (Conclusion of convoluted Xanatos Gambit which screws Anton in particular to an extent that borders upon the transcendent.)
Anton: (Inarticulate scream of horror, rage and grief.)
Voiceover: (Portentously nonsensical.)
Credits: (Rock music.)
This sequence of events also basically summed up the tone of the whole movie. I ADORE IT.
*See also: Assassin's Creed
I am going to talk about Night Watch because it is ridiculous, and stylish, and Russian, and kind of half way between being really clever and really not. THUS IT IS YAY.* I mean, seriously, you guys, I can tell it isn't a great movie, really, too loaded down with plots and without quite enough confidence in its style, jumping from shot-to-shot, afraid to linger, but see this? This is me not caring.
It probably helps that I read the book. The plot would not have made any sense at all without that.
-Anton, Anton, Anton. It is not cool that you were willing to resort to black magic to get your girl back, but um, your karmic backlash was severe enough for me to forgive you, I guess, since the next twelve years or so of your life suck beyond the telling of it thanks to this one deed. Also, your incredible dorkitude.
-I like that this movie at least knows how to make fun of itself a bit. Anton turns his torch on Svetlana and screams in horrified shock at the sight of the vortex following her, and there are zoomy shots and jump cuts and swooshy sound effects and then it cuts back to Anton standing on crowded train still screaming with everybody staring at him. Hee hee hee hee.
-No, seriously, if I hadn't read the book I would have had no idea why Anton was drinking blood and sporting fangs, other than the obvious reason (which isn't it). They do sort of explain it (he's tuning himself to the Call so he can track the vampires), but it's pretty blink-and-you'll-miss-it.
-Woman vampire spends the movie wandering around dreamily, with long, dark, tangled hair, bare feet, and a sun dress. She also leans around doors, turns up in unexpected places, curls whimpering in corners, and kicks a tiny bit of ass.
Erm.
I was very weirded out indeed by the time she was threatening to eat Yegor.
-Okay, the fight scene with the vampires and the scissors could have been a lot more awesome if you'd just stayed still for one damn second, Mr. Director. Also played up the tension with Anton trying to glimpse them in the mirror a bit more. On the other hand, you do make him do something kinda badass (whirling around with the scissors still jammed in him and cracking the vampire's teeth) moments before he flails like a dork with a two-by-four. Points for fight-scenes with character!
-The Night Watch truck is so uncool. So uncool.
-Also I love that movie!Anton absolutely has the shit kicked out of him, bleeding all over the place, he can't even stand he's so badly hurt - it's what I like about him, that he isn't invincible, that he does wrong things and regrets them, that he doesn't come out of battles with creatures far stronger than him uninjured. Plus, hey, sneakers.
-The flipbook sequence has no purpose but exposition, but it's really well executed exposition with a neat gimmick, which is all I really ask from exposition, sometimes.
-...Our hero is the kind of guy who makes faces and hooting noises at his new partner, an owl, when he's not sure if she can talk or not. I mean how could I possibly not love this guy?
-And it comes back to bite his ass in the form of the owl turning into a woman at him. Hee.
-Oh, Kostya. You are a very cute vampire and your fashion sense is awesomely terrible, but the fact that everybody pairs you up with Anton activates my "BLAGHDRACO" instincts. I do like you, it's just I'm destined to rail desperately about no one writing about Svetlana because of you. Please forgive me.
-I'm kind of annoyed that the director didn't play up the magical powers of the Others a bit more - they are pretty bloody dangerous, and the stand-off between Dark and Light, equally matched, is far more plausible in the books. He lessened the ambiguity of them having identical powers. But Anton as a 'seer' did help to explain some of the more hallucinatory scenes like the big fight at the end. I think it was Anton seeing both the outcome of his mistake and the 'never-ending war' thing. No matter how many treaties the Others sign or Watches the Dark and Light set up, there'll never be a truce. Just war with lower register. It's what they are.
-Despite my finely-honed mockery instincts, I can't laugh at the final scene - Anton's actor really sold his horror and grief at Yegor's decision. Seriously, check out that expression.
-You know, despite having the prophesied messiah character with exceptional magical power going evil thanks to the bad dude's careful and long-running manipulation and the good dude's awful mistakes, Night Watch isn't actually that much like Star Wars.
-End of book Night Watch:
"Well, Anton, you can't always be a winner. I haven't, and you won't be, either."
"I know that," I said. "Of course I know it, Gesar. But still, it would be nice."'
End of movie Night Watch:
Plot: (Conclusion of convoluted Xanatos Gambit which screws Anton in particular to an extent that borders upon the transcendent.)
Anton: (Inarticulate scream of horror, rage and grief.)
Voiceover: (Portentously nonsensical.)
Credits: (Rock music.)
This sequence of events also basically summed up the tone of the whole movie. I ADORE IT.
*See also: Assassin's Creed
