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nano_mooseI HAVE IT
I HAVE INTERNETS
IN MY HOUSE AND EVERYTHING
I AM SITTING AT MY LAPTOP WITH INTERNETS
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NO ACTUALLY I NEED MORE WHOO TO COMMEMORATE THIS
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Okay I'm done.
...whoooooooo
But in any case! I think it is time for me to talk about Planescape: Torment. Because it is fantastically awesome, and everyone whose ever frothed at the slightest implication that games can't be intelligent ought to play it.
...Holy fuck, that was bloody fantastic. And horrible and painful and wonderful. Jeezum. I get the feeling I haven't even found half the content in this game, and the sheer quality of it is astonishing.
And geez, and wow, and, I seriously don't even know how to begin to describe the imagination and cleverness in this thing. It is SO CLEVER. I CANNOT DESCRIBE THE CLEVER. I haven't played anything so smart since - since, er, Bioshock, but before that, it would have been years, trust me.
I had it described to me as an 'interactive novel' and - yeah. Basically. It's an interesting approach, reminds me of the old-school text adventure games (it even had a goofy sense of humour when it wasn't busily wringing out my heart for every drop of sympathy it could obtain). The only problem was the definite feeling that it was unfinished - I reloaded so I could explore the different methods of ending the game and was slightly annoyed to discover I'd managed the most complete one on my first try. And that some of my party members didn't quite get the character moments I think they deserved.
...Also waaaaah upon opening the bronze sphere and more waaaaah when I asked to be taken to my friends and further waaaaah for the goodbyes and this game has a great deal of waaaaah. And a similar amount of augh, thank you, Practical.
Happily, it also contained a great deal of Weird Shit. For Weird Shit, I don't think it can be matched. Pregnant alleys, boxes with demons in, boxes with wizards in, boxes with heads - living heads - in, letters of the alphabet that look at me scornfully, inventory items that bite, a giant insect who woke from uneasy dreams to find he'd been transformed into a man, swords made from fingernails, a street performer who actually was trapped in an invisible box, a zombie who'd rather die again than listen to his owner's chatter, treacherous angels and charitable demons and chaste succubae. (What happens if you kick the lim-lim, anyway? Particularly that lim-lim?) I love that your immortality isn't just a convenient gameplay mechanic - you can do awesome stuff like winning arguments by committing suicide, poking art exhibits and losing the finger as a result, letting things eat you, letting someone pay to kill you, and a large chunk of the game's humour comes from the ability. With the art exhibit thing, the Nameless One loses the finger, hurriedly pulls his hand away and hopes nobody saw that. He's like a deeply macabre Will Turner.
In fact, TNO is kind of an enormous dork, the way I play him. Nearing the end I'd pumped up his Wisdom, Intelligence and Charisma to the point where he could talk all four legs off an Arcturan Mega-Donkey and persuade it to go for a walk afterwards, but he was still an enormous dork. Just one who, every now and then, would bust out a philosophical speech to make anyone's jaw drop or display cleverness capable of cutting silk. It was...weirdly cute. Considering he's about six feet tall, grey-skinned, literally scarred to hell and wearing all the best in animal bones and loincloths, I think my definition of 'cute' might be, er, skewed.
I love that NPCs look up and go "Whoa!" upon seeing me. I love that there is Baby Oil, made from genuine babies. I love that Sigil looks not a damn thing like your typical Medieval Fantasy city and there was not a single elf in sight. I love that I won a battle of wills only to see my next opponent beat me to death with his own severed arm. I love that people tell me, "I'm not getting into your 'ask twenty bazillion questions about Sigil' thing." I love telling stories and annoying people so Morte can get more taunts. I love trading snark with Annah and arguing with Morte and philosophizing with Dak'kon and discussing with Fall-From-Grace and confusing poor Nordom.
The characters are absolutely fantastic. Dak'kon, a slave from a race who had vowed never to be enslaved, on the brink of mental and physical collapse, shored up by false words and waiting to die. Annah, spiky and fiery and passionate in all her dealings, from first to last. Fall-From-Grace, whose story I wish I knew - it must be quite a tale, to face mortality as calmly and intellectually as she did. Morte, cowardly Morte, who was not so cowardly as perhaps he thought himself. Nordom, a freed member of a race of slaves, weirdly innocent and innocently weird.
Hell, I didn't hate the villain. I think if I hated anyone it was myself - or rather one of my selves, that icy thing that wore my shape, neither mad nor innately cruel: simply totally, unrelentingly practical.
(And wrong, in the end. It was not power that defeated his enemy.)
(...Poor crazy Paranoid. I wonder how many of the incarnations were like him. I felt so sad for him when I learned that all he wanted was peace. I think he was the 'neutral' one, chaotic neutral, while Practical was neutral evil, though I'm certain he did not see it that way.)
It's a pity I probably won't play it again for a while (because of the aforementioned waaaaah and augh) and that my gamer brain made me tear through it as though my hands had been nailed to the keyboard, but at least I know for sure now that it is SERIOUSLY FUCKING GREAT.
Also I want a Nordom for my very own. He was adorable.
whoooooooooooo
I HAVE INTERNETS
IN MY HOUSE AND EVERYTHING
I AM SITTING AT MY LAPTOP WITH INTERNETS
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NO ACTUALLY I NEED MORE WHOO TO COMMEMORATE THIS
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Okay I'm done.
...whoooooooo
But in any case! I think it is time for me to talk about Planescape: Torment. Because it is fantastically awesome, and everyone whose ever frothed at the slightest implication that games can't be intelligent ought to play it.
...Holy fuck, that was bloody fantastic. And horrible and painful and wonderful. Jeezum. I get the feeling I haven't even found half the content in this game, and the sheer quality of it is astonishing.
And geez, and wow, and, I seriously don't even know how to begin to describe the imagination and cleverness in this thing. It is SO CLEVER. I CANNOT DESCRIBE THE CLEVER. I haven't played anything so smart since - since, er, Bioshock, but before that, it would have been years, trust me.
I had it described to me as an 'interactive novel' and - yeah. Basically. It's an interesting approach, reminds me of the old-school text adventure games (it even had a goofy sense of humour when it wasn't busily wringing out my heart for every drop of sympathy it could obtain). The only problem was the definite feeling that it was unfinished - I reloaded so I could explore the different methods of ending the game and was slightly annoyed to discover I'd managed the most complete one on my first try. And that some of my party members didn't quite get the character moments I think they deserved.
...Also waaaaah upon opening the bronze sphere and more waaaaah when I asked to be taken to my friends and further waaaaah for the goodbyes and this game has a great deal of waaaaah. And a similar amount of augh, thank you, Practical.
Happily, it also contained a great deal of Weird Shit. For Weird Shit, I don't think it can be matched. Pregnant alleys, boxes with demons in, boxes with wizards in, boxes with heads - living heads - in, letters of the alphabet that look at me scornfully, inventory items that bite, a giant insect who woke from uneasy dreams to find he'd been transformed into a man, swords made from fingernails, a street performer who actually was trapped in an invisible box, a zombie who'd rather die again than listen to his owner's chatter, treacherous angels and charitable demons and chaste succubae. (What happens if you kick the lim-lim, anyway? Particularly that lim-lim?) I love that your immortality isn't just a convenient gameplay mechanic - you can do awesome stuff like winning arguments by committing suicide, poking art exhibits and losing the finger as a result, letting things eat you, letting someone pay to kill you, and a large chunk of the game's humour comes from the ability. With the art exhibit thing, the Nameless One loses the finger, hurriedly pulls his hand away and hopes nobody saw that. He's like a deeply macabre Will Turner.
In fact, TNO is kind of an enormous dork, the way I play him. Nearing the end I'd pumped up his Wisdom, Intelligence and Charisma to the point where he could talk all four legs off an Arcturan Mega-Donkey and persuade it to go for a walk afterwards, but he was still an enormous dork. Just one who, every now and then, would bust out a philosophical speech to make anyone's jaw drop or display cleverness capable of cutting silk. It was...weirdly cute. Considering he's about six feet tall, grey-skinned, literally scarred to hell and wearing all the best in animal bones and loincloths, I think my definition of 'cute' might be, er, skewed.
I love that NPCs look up and go "Whoa!" upon seeing me. I love that there is Baby Oil, made from genuine babies. I love that Sigil looks not a damn thing like your typical Medieval Fantasy city and there was not a single elf in sight. I love that I won a battle of wills only to see my next opponent beat me to death with his own severed arm. I love that people tell me, "I'm not getting into your 'ask twenty bazillion questions about Sigil' thing." I love telling stories and annoying people so Morte can get more taunts. I love trading snark with Annah and arguing with Morte and philosophizing with Dak'kon and discussing with Fall-From-Grace and confusing poor Nordom.
The characters are absolutely fantastic. Dak'kon, a slave from a race who had vowed never to be enslaved, on the brink of mental and physical collapse, shored up by false words and waiting to die. Annah, spiky and fiery and passionate in all her dealings, from first to last. Fall-From-Grace, whose story I wish I knew - it must be quite a tale, to face mortality as calmly and intellectually as she did. Morte, cowardly Morte, who was not so cowardly as perhaps he thought himself. Nordom, a freed member of a race of slaves, weirdly innocent and innocently weird.
Hell, I didn't hate the villain. I think if I hated anyone it was myself - or rather one of my selves, that icy thing that wore my shape, neither mad nor innately cruel: simply totally, unrelentingly practical.
(And wrong, in the end. It was not power that defeated his enemy.)
(...Poor crazy Paranoid. I wonder how many of the incarnations were like him. I felt so sad for him when I learned that all he wanted was peace. I think he was the 'neutral' one, chaotic neutral, while Practical was neutral evil, though I'm certain he did not see it that way.)
It's a pity I probably won't play it again for a while (because of the aforementioned waaaaah and augh) and that my gamer brain made me tear through it as though my hands had been nailed to the keyboard, but at least I know for sure now that it is SERIOUSLY FUCKING GREAT.
Also I want a Nordom for my very own. He was adorable.
whoooooooooooo
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no subject
Date: 2008-04-06 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-07 10:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-06 06:33 pm (UTC)Also, Planescape: Torment sounds awesome. I WAS TRYING TO LOOK IT UP AND SEE IF MY COMPUTER COULD HANDLE IT, BUT I FAILED. ...well, okay, I only looked at two sites for a total of, like, five minutes, but still. Also, I suspect this is another game that I would have a very hard time finding anyway. Ah well.
IN CONCLUSION: YOU CLEARLY NEED TO DO A SORT OF SUMMARY/LONGER PIMP POST ABOUT SO I CAN HAVE PLAYED IT VICARIOUSLY.
IN CONCLUSION 2: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-07 10:50 am (UTC)It's older than dirt, actually (well, nine years old) and my laptops runs it just fine! But it's also super-rare. In recent years everyone suddenly realised how brilliant it was and copies are at a premium.
...Okay, you seriously have NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE ASKING. I could certainly pimp it, but a summary would take just about forever and a half. It's not just a long game, it's also densely packed with stuff; histories and legends and myths and...stuff. Every party member has spectacularly complex backstory and that is not even going into The Nameless One and all the general horribleness surrounding him. There's multiple paths and seven party members and several endings and...guh.
But a longer pimp post sounds like fun! I'll totally start compiling one! ♥
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 02:50 am (UTC)I'll totally start compiling one!
WHEEEEEEEEE!!!