(no subject)

[nano_moose]

!!!

…jhdjhkfjga;sl'lsksg

I remembered my favourite bookstore is my favourite. Man. Man. There was a beautiful hardback copy of Infernal Devices, and all of the Old Kingdom Trilogy, and pretty much every Terry Pratchett book ever, and Elements of Style (which I really ought to buy someday), and-

LARKLIGHT.

LARKLIGHT WAS THERE.

I HELD IT IN MY HAND AND SMELLED THE PAGES. IT IS SO WELL PRESENTED I WANTED TO SHOPLIFT IT. THE ILLUSTRATIONS, MAN.

MAN.

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO BROKE



Also: a situation.


[You are in a crowded shopping centre at the close of day. Five separate and discordant pop songs are blasting you from three separate and discordant clothing stores, and people of every age and description (but mostly teenaged and apathetic) surround you. There are exits to the north, east and south.]

_go east

[You are in a clothing store. The clothes are primarily primary colours. There is a ten dollar note on the ground to your right. There is a shop assistant hanging shirts to your far right. Exits to the east and west.]

_pick up note

[There is no note.]

_pick up money

[Ten dollar note is added to your inventory.]

_talk to assistant

[She stares at you, a little bemused.]

_pause iPod player

[You tap the lower edge of the clickwheel and the song pauses.]

_talk to assistant

"Can I help you?"

_give money to assistant

[You hold out the money. She takes it, still looking rather bemused.]

"What's this for?"

_point

[You point vaguely at the location where you found the money, muttering an explanation.]

"Oh! Thank you. We'll try and see if we can return it."

[Light side points gained!]

I think this proves that I would not make a very good Sith, and also that I am a colossal geek.

You see a bandwagon. Jump on?

[Yes]

Comment to this post with an idea for a Top Five list (for example, Five Time Hester Failed To Punch Anyone, or Five Times Garrett's Cynicism Backfired On Him , or Five Things Big Boss Wishes He Hadn't Eaten). Then, in a separate post in reply to your comment, I will compile the requested list, according to me. Multiple requests are welcomed.

Stolen from squeemu and rionaleonhart

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

Five Rejected Potential Endings for Silent Hill 2. (Or, y'know, Five Romantic Moments Torn and Pecker Inexplicably Shared.)

[nano_moose]

ajkdghd I'll just go with the Silent Hill 2 thing. I think my brain exploded just contemplating it (but I might end up trying anyway because that's what you seem to be good at.)

1. Zombies. Tell me you weren't thinking it.
2. Laura receives the Princess Heart costume and goes to save Mary, trapped within the heart of the evil Silent Hill!
3. James receives the Princess Heart costume and goes to save Mary, trapped within the heart of the evil Silent Hill!
4. Laura meets Pyramid Head and they conquer the world through the power of teddy bears and crystal unicorns.
5. James kills the monsters. James kills Maria. James kills Mary. James kills Laura. James is lost in the mists of Silent Hill, dragging the Knife, lonely and angry and bloodstained until he loses even his name.

[rionaleonhart]

Hee! I so want to see number four.

Also, regarding number five: AUGH. OH, GOD, AUGH. YOU ARE HORRIBLE.

And I absolutely love your lists for Squeemu, even when I have no idea who the characters in question are, which is most of the time.

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

My library has been processing "newly received" copies of Larklight for over two weeks now. I am about ready to break in late at night and start squirting the custodians with a water gun until they cave in to my demands.

Bandwagons! Woot! Also, OMG I WANT TO ASK FOR ALL OF YOUR EXAMPLES. And, uh, feel free to ignore as many of these as you want.

Five Times Hester Didn't Mind Having Her Scars (Please no spoilers for Infernal Devices. Or... or wait to show it to me until after I've read it, or something?)

Five Things Tom Wishes He'd Done Before London Died

Five Characters' Brains You Would Like To Explore, A La Psychonauts (NOTE: not restricted to Psychonauts characters!)

Five Things Young!Ocelot Would Like To Tell Naked Snake But Never Will

Five Things Daxter Really Hates About The Spider Caves

[nano_moose]

Hester's List.
1. Being carried to Shrike's home, dazed and salty and weak – she was in far too much pain to care, and wouldn't have remembered anyway.
2. When she was a child in the care of Shrike. He never mentioned, acknowledged or even seemed to notice what she looked like.
3. The time a 'plastic surgeon' offered to fix it for her; except she noticed the tools he was brandishing at her were a rusty saw and an egg beater. It turned out he was just drunk (which she probably should have guessed from the way he was slurring).
4. Any time she looked at Pennyroyal and watched him flinch. It got to the point where she would occasionally ambush him on the way to the loo under the pretext of doing "starboard flare array repairs", just to see him jump and try to stifle a yelp.
5. Any time Tom looked at her and smiled.

Tom's List.
1. Seen his parent's markers in the Tilt Room, where all the people who died had their names written down. He never even managed to find where they were.
2. Found something interesting or unusual in the Gut after a chase. He still does hope to, but it's much harder on an airship. Airships don't eat things.
3. Introduced Hester to Melliphant. Just to see what would happen. And also, probably have to stop her. Er – never mind that.
4. Evacuated it. Warned them. Helped – or something, something so that nobody would have died.
5. Said goodbye to Katherine.

More to come! These are fun.

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

I love Shrike and Hester so much and I keep thinking that I really shouldn't, but. But they are both so broken that they end up fitting together so nicely. ...Also, I dearly love Tom and Hester, but I'm afraid Tom and Shrike would never ever get along, even if Tom didn't keep trying to kill him.

3. I -- I keep picturing Pennyroyal being the plastic surgeon, and I don't even know why, but I can't stop giggling.
4. Hee! She so would. This so happened. I badly want to see this in fic.
5. Oh, so many hearts!

AUGH, Tom's list! Although I badly want to see #3. Tom is so nice, I have no idea how he's managed to survive so long.

[nano_moose]

1. Dr. Loboto. I have a feeling it would be a mental dentist's office, only much weirder and with evil children.
2. …As terrifying as the prospect is, I'd kinda like to see inside James' head, too. I have this bizarre idea that Silent Hill is a concentration of negative mental energy, much like Whispering Rock was before it was flooded.
3. JD's head would likely be full of really geeky references, and with lesbians everywhere. Also, an idealised version of Doctor Cox.
4. Garrett's brain, as much as he'd hate the intrusion. For him I'm sort of thinking an exaggerated version of the City, all metal and stone and dark and labyrinthine.
5. Pennyroyal's head! It would be full of literary references that replace the main characters with himself, and it would be hilarious.

HI I TALK TOO MUCH!

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

1. It -- it would be. That's terrifying.

2. You know, I was totally thinking of James when I posted this, actually. His head would be so crazy, and can you imagine the emotional baggage? You'd go into his head, and every time you entered a new area, you'd be overwhelmed with sobbing. And man, all the random people!figments would be of Mary. I've just managed to thoroughly creep myself out. (And I think it might actually be somewhat canon, that Silent Hill is a concentration of some some sort of negative energy, anyway! Baco might know for sure.)

3. JD's head would be fantastic. That would be so much fun to run around in, although there would be random extremely terrifying parts. But there would also be parts dedicated solely to dancing to 99 Luftballoons, so that would be okay.

4. I bet that would be rocking. ARGH I WANT TO PLAY IT! Also, I want to randomly speculate, but I'll refrain from saying anything until I've actually met him. ...in the game, I mean.

5. This would be awesome! And can you imagine using the clairvoyance skill on him? He'd just see people hearting him, and there would be all of these fantastical landscapes and stuff.

[nano_moose]

Ocelot's List
1. "Wanna make out? So what was it like working with the Boss?"
2. "Please explain, with all possible detail and imagery, what it was like to be there when Volgin exploded."
3. "Why did you go with that EVA? She's no good for you."
4. "Mine's better."
5."Look, it was me the whole time, okay? Pulling the strings. I'm not sorry and I'm not stopping. I just want someone to know."

Daxter's List (Original Version)
1. All the Dark Eco. That stuff was weird and nerve-jangling even before The Fuzzy Incident, now it's positively malevolent.
2. Lurkers. Lurkers with big drills.
3. The bottomless holes. Seriously, he's got a theory that beneath the world is an endlessly dark pit and all the holes open into it.
4. All the jumping around Jak has to do. Can you say nausea?
5. The robot. It's big and bronze and invincible and he knows, he just knows they're going to have to fight it, but he doesn't have any idea how they'd beat it.

Daxter's List (Cop-Out Remix)
1. The spiders.
2. SPIDERS.
3. The little spiders.
4. Arachnids.
5. Yeah, and the centipedes.

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

So much love for Ocelot! I can't decide which one is my favourite, #1, #2 or #4, but I oh man love all of them. And I love how you have no idea what he's saying is better, but it doesn't really matter, just everything he has is better. You are awesome.

Aww! Daxter. I can hear him say #4 so well. ALSO ARGH BOTTOMLESS HOLES, AND ARGH DARK ECO. I AM SO THERE.

AND ARGH SPIDERS. The little spiders especially, for me. I think it's because there are more of them.

I have to ask for Five Things Big Boss Wishes He Hadn't Eaten.

Five Things Sasha Never Thought He Would Say Before Coming To Whispering Rock

Five Things Thaddeus Valentine Doesn't Let Himself Think About

[nano_moose]

Hee! I see what you ment about the ego.

Big Boss' List
1. The parrot. It wasn't bad, but Paramedic gave him so much grief about it that he feels slightly guilty.
2. The buzzards. Um. Oops.
3. The rations. Any rations.
4. So there was this mushroom, see, and he didn't know what it would do but he was hungry so he ate it and when he woke up he was in a clearing with his equipment scattered in completely impossible places and he'd apparently used all his bandages to turn himself into a mummy. Then Paramedic talked to him about movies with mummies in them for fifteen minutes.
5. Also, he found out that burn ointment will not function as food in a pinch.

Sasha's List
1. "Milla, would you please assist me with removing this rake from my ear?"
2. "No. No – it's not prettier when it's on fire – yes, I would know – put that out at once."
3. "Our camp-coordinator is busy attempting to eradicate a swarm of clairvoyant mosquitoes, so we have arranged a movie night."
4. "Yes, they - they are very nice shoes."
5. "Telekinetic bears."

Thaddeus' List
1. Municipal Darwinism is stupid. It's gone beyond its usefulness, but he works for an Engineer whose whole life is moving cities, so he puts it out of his mind.
2. St. Paul's Cathedral.
3. Who he will meet when he goes to the Sunless Country.
4. Pandora, her pretty face frowning and determined and full of her refusal, the refusal that meant she would have to die.
5. Katherine perhaps one day wearing that same expression.

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

OMG NO, SNAKE, NOT THE PARROT! SNAAAAAAKE! ...I was so tempted to eat the parrot in my game. I imagine that is Snake's philosophy on life: He was hungry, so he ate it. Also, hee, Paramedic! Mummies! <3

*ROFL* I can hear Sasha saying those so well, and I cannot decide which one I like better: #1 or #3.

AUGH, THADDEUS. STOP BEING CRAZY. I have no words. Just. I. Augh.

Five Times Snape Wanted To Kill Dumbledore (Before He Actually Did)

Five Times James Forgot Why He Was In Silent Hill

Five Things River Does To Get Simon's Attention

[nano_moose]

I'm just your list monkey, aren't I? AREN'T I?

Snape's List (This one was hard. I've never tried to write Harry Potter fanfic; the fandom's too scary.)
1. He didn't count, but he estimated at perhaps the sixty…fourth sherbet lemon.
2. When he came upon Dumbledore in his office just as he was signing the permission slip for Potter's shiny new broomstick.
3. When Dumbledore hired Hagrid.
4. When Dumbledore hired Lupin.
5. When Dumbledore ordered Snape to try and get one of the most difficult magical disciplines through Potter's supernaturally thick skull.

James' List
1. As Pyramid Head stalked towards him, massive and bloodstained and glistening in the dark – in that instant he would have ran from the room, ran from the town, ran anywhere to escape.
Anywhere.
2. When he looked warily at the peculiar red square in the well and his mind seemed to congeal. When he became aware of himself again, it took a few moments to remember what he was supposed to be doing.
3. Feeling Maria's warm hand on his skin, lacquered red nails gleaming like that red square.
4. Any time he fought one of the monsters. It was always simply a desperate scrabbling race to hit first, and it was always a few moments before the adrenaline would stop thundering in his ears.
5. When the Pyramid Heads impaled themselves and James stood, swaying with exhaustion and blood loss and emptiness, and the world suddenly dimmed and he could have been anywhere…the path, the lake, Heaven's Night, the hotel, Mary's hospital, just wanting nothing more than rest. Then he looked into Maria's dead eyes and walked numbly on.

River's List
1. Entering a room. Doesn't matter what he happens to be doing, he'll always at least look at her. This has caused accidents.
2. For a while, twitching with excess energy from her latest medication, she would throw things. Fragile things.
3. Hit on people. It makes him sputter amusingly.
4. Throw up spectacularly. She gotten better lately, but she still does it when she feels he's getting too hung up on appearances.
5. Quantum mathematics.

(RIVER IS IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE FOR)

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

That's right, MONKEY! Get to work! ...Er, except you've already done all my requests. DAMN.

Re: Snape's list: I can hear him say #1 so well in his voice from the movies. Actually, I can hear all of them so well, and they are all so, so Snape. I adore #1, though.

Re: James' list: GAH. AUGH. I really like #3, and the red nails and the save points, and congealing was such a cool way of phrasing #2.

Re: River's list: You wrote her really well! I love #4. I can so easily picture her doing that. And hitting on people! Oh Simon, you're adorable. And #1 is awesome and so true. And I can so see her just randomly spouting off quantum mathematics, or just be, like, writing a crazy formula down on something she Shouldn't Be Writing On. Hee!

May I ask for more, or are you bored with this now?

[nano_moose]

I am a monkey with initiative! And also, thanks. The combination of you and thebaconfat's compliments actually got me kick-started on The Fic, and it's...like, there's stuff happening in it now. Instead of Hester just wondering around going "whut foggy town." Man it's been a long time since I wrote fic that actually went anywhere. THIS IS WHY IT'S TAKING SO LONG, I'M OUT OF PRACTICE. Please don't expect anything spectacular.

I'd say you may, but what if we end up with a Meme of D00m like our Conversation of D00m? IT COULD KILL THE WORLD. OR AT LEAST LJ.

...I could post the Garrett List I did when I was bored and sleepy. It has no spoilers.

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

Awesome! I really hope I'll have Infernal Devices read by the time you start posting things so I can read them. And I'm pretty sure it's been forever since I have written anything that could be remotely considered fanfic-like, so. Yes.

I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD MAKE THE WORLD OUR PRIORITY, THEN. I GUESS. SIGH.

Garrett List!! Post it! You know you want to.

[nano_moose]

BLAGH I just remembered I'd forgotten to put this up.

Garrett's List
1. Once, studying the righteous frescoed forgers on the roof of some crumbling church and deciding they looked more like righteous plague victims, a stone slid out from under him and he twisted his ankle, forcing him to drag himself back up the tunnel, swearing the whole way.
2. When he told his fence Carmen exactly what he thought of her 'love-stone'. Later that night, he found three male prostitutes and Marla outside his apartment. Had to pay them to leave.
3. Refused a treasure map from a hooded figure in a pub and mocked the gullible kid that accepted it. Later discovered that said kid retired on the treasure.
4. Suspected that the fire crystals Rainey sold him were fake. Eyebrows grew back in time.
5. Ran into Bertha and rolled his eyes when she requested an apology. Got three steps before she pitched her voice high and yelled "Guards! Help!", then disappeared with an evil smile.

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

Hee! Oh, Garrett.

Number one just seems so fitting and awesome. Still haven't played the game, but the sentence alone has a really cool mood to it. And I will be so disappointed if there aren't actually love-stones in the game.

[nano_moose]

Oh my god did I not tell you that the fences and people you buy equipment off have their own personalities? BECAUSE I AM NOW. Carmen, Bertha and Marla are all in the game! And they all say hilarious things to you! Especially Marla, who's like, a total Garrett fangirl and tries to get him to ask her to be his partner. AND CARMEN, OH MAN, I LOVE HER. When you first walk through her door, she tells you that the lovestone over it went completely black, and sounds all concerned IT IS AWESOME. And there is Thomas, who is all...vaguely swishy and there's...I think his name is Sam? Who hasn't thought up a motto for his store and there's the fence who tries to deflate your ego by telling you how much you suck. AND FOR SOME REASON, ALL THE WOMEN HIT ON YOU. AND THOMAS KIND OF DOES AS WELL. IT IS GREAT.

I will stop with the caps now, but, yeah. I forgot I totally fangirl the fences in that game. I think I need to start playing it again.

[rionaleonhart]

"Our camp-coordinator is busy attempting to eradicate a swarm of clairvoyant mosquitoes, so we have arranged a movie night."

WHAT FANDOM IS THIS?

[nano_moose]

*g* That would be Psychonauts. And believe me, clairvoyant mosquitoes are not, by long shot, the weirdest thing you will encounter. It's about a government sponsered summer camp for psychic children, it was made by the guys who made Monkey Island and Day of the Tentacle, and most of the gameplay revolves around throwing tiny doors against people's heads and entering their minds.

[thebaconfat.livejournal.com]

I can't even request anything. All I can say is that Every single one of your lists has made me go either, "HAHA MAN AWESOME" or "AUUGGHH" at least once.

Man I can't wait to read your Hester-in-Silent-Hill fic. And anything else you decide to write because HOLY CRAP. You rock.