Extremely Small A. Alces Sighting (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nano_moose) wrote2010-10-31 12:48 pm
nano_moose) wrote2010-10-31 12:48 pm
Entry tags:
Adventures in Fallout: New Vegas
Tutorial in How to Kill Deathclaws When You Are Nano's Usual Charismatic Gun-slinging Genius Character Made from Wet Tissue Paper:
Step 1: Buy the very biggest gun you can. My choice was the Anti-Materiel Rifle, which is, from the stock to the muzzle, about the same height as my character and made for punching through tanks.
Step 2: Giggle. Wonder whether this counts as overcompensation if you don't actually have or want a penis.
Step 3: Make friends with the Brotherhood of Steel to get some Power Armour and the training to wear it. Put it on.
Step 4: Preen.
Step 5: Drug yourself up until you could actually see God and sell your pee to him for a thousand caps an ounce.*
Step 6: Down some Bighorner Steaks just to be sure. If you have Cass as your companion, drink all of your whisky and try not to imagine your liver leaping out from beneath your intestines to beat you to death in revenge.
Step 7: Save.
Step 8: BANZAAAAAAAAI!!!
Step 9: Die.
Step 10: And again.
Step 11: Try for a stealthy approach.
Step 12: Fail, because of your incredibly oversized gun and heavy, clanking armour.
Step 13: Die several more times until you've memorised the positions the Deathclaws will attack from.
Step 14: Finally succeed in killing them all.
Step 15: Victory dance!
Step 16: Die stepping off a cliff in withdrawal haze.
Step 17: Repeat from Step 8, until you remember to save directly after killing them all.
Step 18: Victory dance!
But actually, New Vegas is pretty cool when I'm not being spanked by the higher-level enemies. More later.
*In the game, that is. Chemical enhancement will not improve your performance in real life. Winners don't use drugs.
Step 1: Buy the very biggest gun you can. My choice was the Anti-Materiel Rifle, which is, from the stock to the muzzle, about the same height as my character and made for punching through tanks.
Step 2: Giggle. Wonder whether this counts as overcompensation if you don't actually have or want a penis.
Step 3: Make friends with the Brotherhood of Steel to get some Power Armour and the training to wear it. Put it on.
Step 4: Preen.
Step 5: Drug yourself up until you could actually see God and sell your pee to him for a thousand caps an ounce.*
Step 6: Down some Bighorner Steaks just to be sure. If you have Cass as your companion, drink all of your whisky and try not to imagine your liver leaping out from beneath your intestines to beat you to death in revenge.
Step 7: Save.
Step 8: BANZAAAAAAAAI!!!
Step 9: Die.
Step 10: And again.
Step 11: Try for a stealthy approach.
Step 12: Fail, because of your incredibly oversized gun and heavy, clanking armour.
Step 13: Die several more times until you've memorised the positions the Deathclaws will attack from.
Step 14: Finally succeed in killing them all.
Step 15: Victory dance!
Step 16: Die stepping off a cliff in withdrawal haze.
Step 17: Repeat from Step 8, until you remember to save directly after killing them all.
Step 18: Victory dance!
But actually, New Vegas is pretty cool when I'm not being spanked by the higher-level enemies. More later.
*In the game, that is. Chemical enhancement will not improve your performance in real life. Winners don't use drugs.
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